THE ROLE OF THE PARENTING COORDINATOR
The “Parenting Coordinator” is a rather new concept and development in family law. Commonly, the Parent Coordinator is seen as an individual who is familiar with family law, conflict resolution, mediation, family therapy, and child development, who is, and remains, a neutral individual and acts (within the parameters of a Court or divorce decree/stipulation) to resolve disagreements between parents, as they pertain to the child(ren).
In some states, Florida for example, the Parent Coordinator is a mental health provider, with at least a master's degree, and licensed by the state. In Florida too,” family mediation certification” is a necessary skill requirement. As of 2004, there are no legislative or Court rules in Massachusetts that provide for Parenting Coordinators, but it is viewed as a specialize field or service provided by qualified mental health professionals, often forensic psychologists, forensic social workers and forensic counselors.
Because the Parenting Coordinator accepts tremendous responsibility, for making shared parental accountability work, they must be experienced and well-trained in child development and in what constitutes an appropriate visitation schedule.
As noted, Parent Coordinators are not usually lawyers and do not give out legal advice, but must have knowledge of the legal process and a working knowledge of family law.
The Parenting Coordinator works directly and openly with both parents to help them communicate more effectively and to try and avoid and/or immediately resolve conflicts around child-related issues that come up.
In many of the “high conflict” divorces and child custody cases, guardian ad litems and/or Parent Coordinators have been used by the Court, because of the seemingly endless number of court appearances it takes to resolve seemingly minor issues which uses up the resources of the Court and the parties.
Many of the issues center on child-related issues, including visitation and access to information about a child's medical problems or school issues.
Most cases seem to benefit from opinions and guidance from Parent Coordinators who help make communication more effective. In addition, the Parenting Coordinator mediates issues and when the parents are unable to agree, the parenting coordinator is often given the power to arbitrate (decide) what the result should be.
Ultimately, the court has the final say over child custody and visitation issues, but a Parenting Coordinator can drastically reduce the need to go to court and therefore reduce conflict for the child in that family
The most significant impact that a parenting coordinator makes is in ultimately fostering communication and problem-solving skills between the parents. This, in addition to helping parents to recognize some of the underlying issues that cause parental conflict
Studies have shown that parents, who can, without conflict, cooperate in the co-parenting process raise child with fewer emotional problems. If that goal is not attainable, then to teach parents to interact in front of child without conflict is the next best solution for child.
It must be remembered that the Parenting Coordinator may report as necessary to the court.
The Parenting Coordinator may also communicate the individual child's therapist and to the court. However, at the same time, the therapist should be protected from litigation so that she can work with the child without being pressured or manipulated by either parent.
The Parenting Coordinator can also be a facilitator between parents in issues where there is a difference of opinion.
The Parenting Coordinator can be used if a non-custodial parent wants to send something to the child, to make sure that the child receives it.
The Parenting Coordinator can in some cases determine when, or if, a child is ready, equipped for, prepared for and or disposed to an increase in visitation.
The Parenting Coordinator develops with the parents a detailed parenting plan, which is agreed to by all parties. While flexibility allows for more room in making transitions easier for children, sometimes the more detailed the plan, the less room there is for conflict.
The parenting plan includes:
A Visitation plan:
Phone calls:
Toys and belongings:
Guidelines are established for moving things between two households.
Boundaries or rules at other household:
Neither parent can/should tell the other parent what rules to set.
If abuse is suspected or concerns about parental judgment persist, the Parenting Coordinator must be contacted.
Pets:
Establishes rules for moving or caring for a pet between homes.
Who pays for the Parenting Coordinator?
As there is no legislation in Massachusetts that provides funding for Parenting Coordinators, the fees are paid by the parents in a proportion that is either agreed to by the parties or ordered by the Court. Under certain circumstances, the Court may enter orders that motivate parties to resolve issues outside of the court process by imposing financial sanctions on a party who challenges the recommendation of the Parenting Coordinator and loses in Court.
What are the benefits of using a Parenting Coordinator?
Any method of dispute resolution that resolves child-related issues outside of Court is a good thing for families. A Parenting Coordinator can provide prompt, consistent, and responsive assistance to parents who cannot resolve issues regarding their child by themselves.
The responsibilities of a parent coordinator are usually as follows:
For many parents, these goals seem impossible! Indeed, some parents are incapable for achieving cooperative parenting behavior, or at least conflict-free behavior, without outside intervention. Parenting coordinators have proven to be invaluable in this process. Early intervention, on-going education, support, and maintenance of the co-parenting process by the parenting coordinators provide the structure and guidance that can make an enormous difference to many families.
A parenting coordinator is not a custody evaluator, and will not give an opinion. In custody disputes, a parenting coordinator may be appointed to assist the parents in child-sharing plans during the pendency of the case, and after custody has been resolved.
A parenting coordinator is a neutral third party. It is because of this neutrality that a parenting coordinator can be an effective educator, mediator, and counselor to the entire family. Additionally, because the parenting coordinator is court appointed, neither party can "fire" him or her before the recommendation for visitation is made.
Parenting coordinators have proven to be of great help to attorneys as well. Parenting coordinators have more time and better skills to deal with the myriad issues that occur as parents transition into the roles of divorced parents. Additionally, because an attorney is by definition an advocate for his or her client, many times this role is less effective than the parenting coordinator's role of mediator/counselor/educator to both parties.
Judges appreciate the information and input a parenting coordinator can give. Visitation disputes cannot easily be resolved in the limited time a motion calendar can allow. Many times, the allegations are so numerous and so confusing there is simply no way a judge can make a reasoned decision in fifteen or twenty minutes. A report and testimony of a parenting coordinator whose only agenda is to minimize conflict for the child is a welcome beacon.
The procedure, then, is for both attorneys to consult at the beginning of the case. If both attorneys agree that the parties will be assisted by a parenting coordinator, an agreed order is entered. If this cannot be done by agreement, then a motion is filed requesting the appointment of a parenting coordinator. In the experience of the author, judges have been happy to grant such orders, assigning a parenting coordinator when one cannot be chosen by the agreement of the parties. The parenting coordinator then begins meeting with the parties and the child. Also, the parenting coordinator will seek input from each attorney as to how the attorney defines the issues in the particular case.
If the parties reach an agreement, the attorneys will draft the written agreement and advise their clients as to the impact on their legal rights. If no agreement is reached, then the issue is set for hearing and the parenting coordinator is subpoenaed to provide input to the judge.
Many attorneys who have used this new tool of the parenting coordinator will agree that major legal battles, ultimately harmful to the child, have been averted due to the efforts of the parenting coordinators. More subtle benefits include the strengthening and stabilizing of cooperative parenting between the parties, for the ultimate benefit of the child.